Sunday, February 17, 2013

Not-So-Desperate HouseWife

I've been pondering about my Life's purpose for awhile now and wanted to share my thoughts with anyone who cares to know....

I've been a stay-at-home mom for all of my kids life which makes this my 16th year...

Though we don't have everything we want, we have all our needs but deep down inside I want to find something to fulfill me...to give me purpose.

For years, I've said my marriage & my kids are my ministry. They were my first & second priority, now that I see the fruits of my labor, I want to nurture my talents & gifts in other areas.

I'm both excited & leery of job hunting, finding a job then having to quit b/c my heart's not in it. I want to do it b/c I really want to, not b/c I have to which I don't. I have numerous ideas that could be profitable such as being an independent consultant & host of Private Parties, Scentsy Fragrances, &/or but not limited to Mary Kay, Avon, etc. to make some $$$!!

Also, I want to focus on ME for a change...it's time for some 'Me' time!

Oh well....I know that all things are possible & the possibilities are Limitless!

In due time.....

In the mean time, in between time.....I'm going to enjoy being a Not-so-Desperate HouseWife!

~The Sassy Wife~

A Weekend to Remember

A Weekend to Remember

This past weekend was truly a weekend to remember, not because my Husband gave me a gift, bought me something new, or that I went on a luxurious vacation.

It's worth memorable for the rawness of what I experienced after almost 20 years of marriage. We communicated 10 things we Like about each other & what stuck with me the most, was not so much 'what' my husband listed but the time and effort he put into the activity. And did I mention ....it was his idea!!!

I know....I know....there must be something in the water but I tell you what ....I want some of it!

It was very refreshing to know what makes me so Lovable, Huggable(I know it's not a word lol) and Appealing to my man. I wasn't surprised by what he listed but I was surprised by the thought & vulnerability he expressed with each one...

See.....to know Wayne, you have to know he's not the kind of man(what man is...lol) that expresses his emotions.  He wanted this weekend to be 'our time' to be together & hang without distractions. So we limited the TV watching and computer access and just TALKED!!

Seriously...we Talked and it was Refreshing!

Sure we did other things to past time, draw closer & rest.

It's truly amazing to know where we, as a couple, have been to appreciate where we are now.
And for that reason....I'll cherish this weekend, as a time to remember.

~The Sassy Wife~


Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Reason...I am my Husband's GOOD THING!




First, let me say WELCOME to my first BLOG!! Sorry for the CAPS but that's my EXCITEMENT showing on paper!

Ok....Let me get down to business!

The Reason I say...I am my Husband's GOOD THING is not because I'm perfect; have the best attitude, always supportive or even like being his wife...sometimes!
I know I put in 110% to keeping Us & our family unit together.
I do my darn-est to be the best wife he'll every have and for the most part, I'm irreplaceable LOL! Yes, I said that! I'm claiming it & saying it so the whole world will know...I'M THE BEST WIFE HE'LL EVER HAVE!!
We do ALOT together...we love to hang, exercise together, watch movies, play board games BUT we also know how to give each other 'space' to be our own person.

He's my Best Friend...

As a couple, we've grown in so many ways!
Our first years of marriage were more of a struggle mainly because we were young, immature & wanted the marriage to be 'our way'.
And how many of you know that...it's not our way, it's God's way!

Now after 19 years of togetherness, we've grown & know what 'works' and don't work for us.
And I tell you, that's truly been a lesson learned over the years. Not everything is for us or You...find what works for you & your mate and perfect that thing...it's all by trial & error. Marriage is trial & error...LOL Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't but don't give up, that's when your marriage, like mines...need to be Re-Charged.

To Recharge your marriage, you have to re-new your ways, your thoughts about yourself & your mate & re-new your views on marriage...dispel the myths

I can truly say, it's been both a joy & some pains but we've endured the worst & praised God in the best of times! The KEY to our success thus far is PRAYER!
I know I can't do it all by myself, neither can my mate do it all... so I've learned to pray! Pray for my spouse, pray for my marriage, pray for me & let God work on it all. I took my hands & my prayers off my husband...yes, you must stop praying 'on your husband' and pray 'for your husband'.

Yes....when i say, I've prayed & cried...I've prayed & cried for my marriage! I prayed & cried...and I prayed 'on him' until I got the revelation that in order for a change to take place, I must pray for my husband & through prayer, God will work on him. And as I drew closer to God in prayer, I Changed! For the better...And through it all, I remembered... that God loves me & He cares and he'll never put more on me, than I can bear....I just started singing yall!! I had to have a PRAISE BREAK! That went wayyy down in my spirit!! Ha!

Back to what I was saying...

Marriage is not a cake walk but it's a walk in the park when you want it to be...

Why do we need to Pray?

It's a daily dose of Reality, when you are married not only to a man,but to a  Black Man!
Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a negative way. I mean, it's a challenge & a privilege because the world we live in today, tend to break our black men down ...piece by piece. They experience negativity on their jobs, at school, on the bus, at the grocery store & especially when pulled over by cops. So as a Wife to a BM, I have the pleasure of picking up the pieces & putting him back together again...sort of like Humpty Dumpty! ( Please forgive me for being silly but those who know me, know I'm 2 kinds of crazy! Ha!) I pray for his job, his mind, his health, his friends, his enemies, etc. and  he knows he can count on me to be there to rub his shoulders, rub his head, lend my shoulder & a listening ear. Yes...there are times when being his help meet/supporter/encourager can be exhausting...because after it's all said & done... who's there to pick me Up and put me back together?




Here's where it gets interesting ....He does!  and even if he can't...I know... if he could, he would...so then I go to my plan B...

That's where the sayings, 'If it don't kill you, it will make you stronger', 'put your tough skin on child' & 'I can do ALL things through Christ who strengths me' ...gives me strength & someway, somehow, my strength comes & lifts me Up to continue this journey! And I get in gear for another round & make it do, what it do & that's why I say...I'M THE BEST WIFE HE'LL EVER HAVE!

Not only do I make our house a home, I create an atmosphere of peace. I put forth every effort to at least.

It's important to know your WORTH in your marriage & be the Jewel that your are & never outshine your husband but complement him with your Beauty! When you know your worth, you never have to sell yourself for less than you are worth and your value will exceed your price!

Now does this mean, I'm the only wife for him, I would hope so but (he's calling me now, hold on)...okay I'm back...

I don't claim to be only wife(again, it's my prayer that I am)...but I do claim to be His GOOD THING!

I'm far from  'the virtuous woman' but I strive to be a woman of excellence and ask for a daily anointing to be the wife, mother, sister, friend & woman after God's own heart, and in doing my best, I get better & do better...and be the best ME which is more than a blessing to my family & others.

I encourage every Wife to make a conservative effort in being ...THE BEST WIFE TO YOUR HUSBAND! When you are the best at being You, then you are IRREPLACEABLE! Strive to look deep within & know who you are, your place in this world & in your husband's life, so you can be You for your man. He needs for you to know who you are & who's you are...His Wife! And just like you need him to be the best he can be, he needs you to be the Best & strive to do your best.

Sometimes when you allow the honey to roll(go with the flow), you allow favor into your life. You allow the blessing to flow...

Do I speak from experience? I believe so...but I also know...

I speak from the heart...And from my heart to yours...

When you strive to be the Better, YOU do better!

Be his 'good thing' and follow me in this journey...


Not my way, but God's way

~The Sassy Wife~